So another Valentine’s Day is upon us. A large part of the population has big expectations, because finally, they will be placed on that pedestal that lives in their head, you know the one that is made up of flowers and chocolate, dripping with diamonds and most importantly, proof how much I am loved! The Hallmark cards are displayed proudly, the jewelry worn with the same winning pride as a super bowl ring. Often these expectations become a relationship report card – like a heart shaped band-aid covering up a wounded relationship.

So what is Love? Far too often, many people do not focus on romantic love once in a committed relationship. We certainly do expect it, like we expect the sun to shine every morning, and so the sun does, but in truth, the sun shines every morning because it is the sun. It has nothing to do with our expectations of it shining, or our appreciation, it rises without fail because it is 100% pure sun, and nothing else. So when we look at our lives and we do not see love, do we love? I hear people say, I want a soul mate. I want someone who understands me, someone who loves me, some one I can be in love with. In reality being in love is flowing with the current of love already coming from within ourselves. It radiates outward and attracts love back.

Think of how the sun shines across a body of water lighting it up. The water greets the sun and reflects the suns light back creating a path across the water, or as the sun rises across the ocean, turning the ocean and sky pink – but it is only the sun’s reflection. Perhaps we could look at our love relations in this way. What are we casting onto them? Are we shining our love on them? Are they on us? Even if you are in a relationship that is not what you want, be sure you are not shining your light across a dried up reservoir, your intense light will only make it drier. Why stay focused on something that can no longer reflect your light because there is nothing contained within it. It does not need your light it needs water, something that must come from another source.

This Valentine’s Day, be sure you are giving out what it is you wish to receive back. My favorite gift the last six months seems to be, time. Time set aside, time promised, time given. Nothing else is as important as time spent together doing nothing special because Love is special enough. All by itself.

~Cynthia

No, Bruce Lee has not returned in a remake of the movie.  Monday, January 23rd brings with it a new moon and the Chinese New Year and this is the Year of the Dragon. This year holds special meaning for me as I am about to receive into my life a grandson.  As I researched my baby dragon, I read that Dragon people have a special aura about them, they are very sincere and driven in what they believe in and quite wise, and if angered deeply, just like a dragon, their tongue can lash out and burn the source of that anger.  I think my prince has finally come!

Astrology has always drawn me in.  It still boggles my mind when I look up into the night sky and see the groups of stars that even as a child felt comforted by a feeling of purpose as I gazed upward.  Now when I think of the intricate system that is influencing everyone and everything on the planet, it makes me feel like – well, the more you know, the less you know.   Within all forms of astrology there seems a dichotomy between complexity and simplicity – the complexity of so many souls needing to be in just the right place at just the right time and yet the simplicity of it all playing out regardless of our awareness or even belief in it.   In Chinese astrology, each year is dedicated to a particular animal.  In Western astrology, the one most of us are familiar with, each year is divided into the twelve sun signs.   Interesting that in Chinese astrology a whole year can have a particular flavor and even though many label it as nonsense, to the Chinese business community, they take it very seriously, and will not even consider basing a business in some locations due to a bad direction or bad energy coming from funeral homes for example. I pulled up a page on an Asian party supply website and they anticipate higher sales this year, in the article they claimed the Republic of China saw an 8.1% increase in revenue back in 2000, the last Dragon year.

It is also the last year in the Mayan calendar, yet another system of astrology.  You would have to have been living under a rock for the past five years if you have not heard the rumors surrounding 2012 and the end of the world.  My guess is the complexity of its truth lies buried with the people from the Mayan civilization.  As happens with any ancient text, much of the real meaning is lost in translation lending to misinformation and ignorance.  So they say the world is ending.   Well, good.  It is a mess most places you look. But is it really ending or is it disappearing?

Is there anyone left that has not felt their world has been disappearing, especially since 2008?   If your life and security was not altered by the global economic shift, then certainly someone’s life you care about was.  If it was a job loss, can you honestly say it was a bad thing spiritually?  If a marriage ended, in retrospect can you see that it was already over?   If a people rose up against a nation and the changes were hard, would it really have been easier for them to remain repressed?

I ask you, what in this earthly life that is worth having has come to you or to society without focus, effort and varying degrees of suffering?   We have come to a point in time where more intolerance is called for, because tolerance is not an attribute. Contrary to what your mother may have taught you, tolerance can be quite dangerous and must never be confused with patience. Patience is a virtue, but tolerance is just a shade away from hypocrisy, and the breeding ground for bitterness and deep seated anger.   Have a think about this – what are you tolerating?  Where are you when you sit silent holding onto your feelings and thoughts due to fear of rejection… or the fear of confrontation?  Perhaps there would be less battling, whether between nations or within families if we did not automatically avoid confrontation, but rather allowed our “tolerance” to rise to the surface of our lips and, with heart centered awareness if we, con – fronted.  Our soul is nudging us to communicate a higher truth.  Maybe what we really fear is standing corrected if we do.  So what are we really avoiding?  I think the answer may be our selves.  We must move away from right and wrong, because we are evolving into a time of more telepathic communication we are sensing more and this will become stronger in the same way our handheld computers keep gaining speed, we are gaining spiritual speed.  This is not about reading minds we will sense someone is not being truthful or authentic. We will recognize it when we hear the worn out tape from the old world.   We are learning to create rather than compete and seeing the connection others have to us creating networks that ultimately will build this new world.   The contentment that comes from this type of communication, even when it is difficult to do, will reach critical mass and there my friends will be the new world.   But, just like the planets we can’t see, the new world has always been here, even though we can’t fully see it yet.  We can’t see Dragons either, but maybe in this, the year of the Dragon, they will help us see ourselves. 

~Cynthia 

Once upon a time, there was a new year, and everywhere the people looked there seemed to be change and loss, but the people soon realized that within every ending, there is also a beginning, for nothing can ever die, it can only change form.

I am not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions, much like when we proclaim after Thanksgiving dinner, we are not eating for a week, this time of the year we make exaggerated claims we can’t deliver.   What I do believe in, is embracing change as it occurs, as it has been my experience that we cannot forecast those changes very well and statistics show, most New Year’s resolutions fail within three months. Most likely they fail because it is something that we are projecting from our minds, not coming from our spirit. We may indeed find ourselves in need of losing weight, or cleaning out our closets, we may need to get organized, or change careers, be better partners, parents and eat healthier.  Yet take a look at the most popular by far New Year’s resolution – The diet/exercise/healthy lifestyle change.   Here is how it usually goes down… We boldly announce, well meaning of course, (typically our stomach stuffed as tight as the turkey was) “Diet starts the first of the year!”  Subconscious sabotage?  Considering the day before was a holiday and most of us drank too much, over ate and stayed up too late, knowing the  next day we  will wake having no energy, our body screaming for hydration nourishment and rest,  needing more, not less, my inkling is yes, even if well meaning, not well planned.

Why not start from where you are?  Successful change comes from wanting things to be different not thinking they should be.  It comes from no longer wanting to stay in a situation you no longer can tolerate.  It may be tight pants.  It may be your job.  It may be a relationship.  Whatever it is, begin the process of seeing yourself or putting yourself in a better situation and go from there.  If you start a diet, start it immediately.  Don’t say you will start it next week.  The day your clothes feel tight, or you feel sluggish from too much sugar, begin.  If you walk into your job miserable, begin the search then.  Maybe when we project a change too far into the future, what we really are saying is, I am not yet there. That is fine. We are where we are, and that is always okay.  True change is not a premeditated chore.  It is honestly acknowledging where we are rather than where we think we are. 
 
Another common theme at the beginning of a new year, are predictions.  It has been my experience that predictions send us out of the moment we are in and just like Ebenezer Scrooge came to realize, the future is very much dependant on decisions we make today, the past is the best predictor of the future events. The future is uncertain, but our past is known, when you look back over the past year, what has changed in your life and how or what pushed you through a new door?   Many are reporting to me feelings of being in a state of limbo, on the edge of flight, as if doors began to open, pausing but not fully opening.  Still, others have faced a sudden health or financial crisis. I remember reading some time ago, about a cosmic event with a black hole that was related to this shift in energy.  It was explained in the article that when a star is swallowed up by a black hole, it moves into a parallel universe.  As this happens, the parallel universe takes on pressure that will eventually equalize it, and at the same time, our universe loses pressure as if it was being vacuumed out and will ultimately equalize things.  When changes like this occur, energy and information find new pathways as they travel amongst interstellar corridors.  I can barely keep up with all of the astronomical and astrological influences happening.  We have had more lunar and solar eclipses this past year then I remember in many years.  These cosmic events change energy and how it flows. This can cause us to feel grumpy, disoriented and out of balance, and why we are feeling a lot of stopping and starting right now.  Some of us are feeling stuck in no-man’s land.  The key is, if you find yourself there don’t push, take five minutes and you may need to ask yourself, why have I not stepped into my power?

As we look back on 2011, feel the release of all that has been stored up, everything that we have seen coming but also what we did not, and allow the year to pass and feel the freshness that accompanies all things new.  As we look back in review if there was something that you lost, or if something just seemed to slip through your fingers, when you feel your fears and doubts rising, ask yourself, what am I clinging to – what is trying to be free?  Loosen your grip and let it go.  Create alliances, our society needs to come together and create both what we want and what we need.  As we begin a new year with the plug pulled and a wide-open game board in front of us try to be conscious of what you are creating.  Take some time to imagine it, our intentions and desires create our experiences.  We cannot know every step and every turn, some roads will be closed and we may be detoured. Accept yourself for how far you have come, be proud for the courage you have had to accept changes beyond your control and the decisions you bravely made to move forward in new directions. True peace is an inner soul reality not an outer state of behaviors others validate.  As we begin a new year may we  recognize there is nowhere to go, except on.

~Cynthia

We live in an age where it is expected that we have a college education before beginning any career.  Now a mere century ago, that would have caused us to miss much of the beginning of our adulthood.  This is not a speech about education but the loss of our instinctual nature.  Childhood seems to be stretching into a person’s late twenties as we seem to be trading experience for memorizing the facts of what others have experienced long passed.   Education is not only necessary, it is natural second only to knowing how to love and be loved but you have to ask yourself, how have we gotten to the place where it takes so long to begin living?

It is surprising and odd to me in my practice that very often nice polite people walk in but become angry as they begin to dive into themselves.  On the flip side, I have angry cliental that become less angry and calmed upon discovering why they are really angry; angry at the atrocities they have experienced or witnessed.  On a disturbing note, many of these angry cliental are children. Somewhere between the ages of eight or nine, anger begins to well up in them and way too often does not end until they do. I recall one young man as his mother drug him into my office on his therapists referral (neither wanted to be there) hands stuffed deep in his pockets, looking down at the ground and for just a moment I thought his angry stare would open a hole in the floor and he would just disappear. As I went through my routine of what I do, he “politely” listened with head cocked to one side and lips pursed, I had my doubts.  He reluctantly climbed on my table and thirty minutes later when I was telling him I felt he was a very deep thinker and was angry at the injustice going on all around him, his cold stare became a soft gaze as I continued sharing with him that the Angels had shown me he was being bullied at school.  He shared with me he had not told anyone about the bullying out of embarrassment.  I asked him why he was always daydreaming in class and getting in to trouble for not paying attention, and he looked at me, as if he had just met someone with a set of working ears and said, “It is not that I am not listening, I am listening to some of it, but the rest of the time I am trying to see how it applies to my life.   I sure do learn a lot from children with no education who are failing school.   

I encouraged that young man to continue thinking and not become self destructive because adults did not understand him and for that matter his peers. He sat on the edge of my table his angry face completely gone and now looked at me almost with a sneering grin as if he had just figured out we were both international spies and had cracked a code and he sweetly said to me, ”You know what? You are really smart.”  I will never forget him and I hope he never forgets himself.

C.S. Lewis wrote that the only stupid question is one in which you know there is no answer to.   And I have learned that not only are questions typically statements in disguise, if you ask a question properly, it will answer itself.  Think about that and then think again.  In fact sit and have a good daydream. Don’t remember how?  Here is a hint you don’t need a book, or a teacher, or a classroom, an electrical outlet or batteries, you only need yourself.

Learning is crucial, and a strong base of knowledge is like a well stocked pantry but when it comes time to make a meal if you don’t know how to put it all together you will not have much to offer.  Some of the most famous dishes were created from being out of something and improvising, necessity is the mother of invention after all.  The point here is if we continue to argue our limitations, then that is what we will have and we will be limited, in thought and in action.  Thinking is not a crime. Thinking is having a conversation with yourself and sometimes even God drops in. You are your own best friend.  Never stop learning, never stop dreaming, and never stop questioning the answers.  We really do need to redefine childhood, because children are taking this to heart and waiting a very long time before they feel they have what they need to contribute.   We need to shine down on them like the sun and encourage them to cultivate their thoughts and allow them to grow into the world and fill in the holes we have left. Likewise as adults we too must find the courage to burst through our own darkness and see there is an alternate reality just an inch away.   If we are to survive as a society and ultimately evolve into the peaceful existence we all say we want, than we must relearn and retrain ourselves to be intuitive feeling thinking creatures like we were once upon a time…
when we did not know so much…       ~Cynthia

If there is one thing I think most of us struggle with, it is forgiveness. Adding ness to forgive and making it into a thing by itself, unattached to our personal woes, allows us to be forgiving “like”, to aspire to forgive, to attempt to forgive, or to forgive a little, perhaps even hauling forgiveness around with the intention of using it, like carrying cough drops or tissues in your purse…just in case you need it.  You know it is possible to forgive, even expected, you have heard incredible stories of forgiveness, yet somehow like a tissue when you sneeze, you can’t quite get to it fast enough or find it at all.  To forgive as a verb – to fully, deeply and completely stop feeling angry at another who has trespassed or crossed us, is yet another story.  I have written on this subject before and I suspect will do so again.  The act of forgiving is so intricate and complex we must walk around it exploring every different possible view of it so that we may try and make sense of it.  Do you remember when you were learning math, there was no middle ground, you either got it or you did not?  Forgiveness is a lot like math, you either have it or you don’t. To forgive someone is not possible if you do not know the sum of the parts that are at the root of your anger.  Rarely is it about the person or the event that has you angry.    

Start small.  Start with what angers you on a continual basis.  It may be traffic.  It may be something that always makes you sad and makes tears flow every time you see it or hear it.  It could be standing in a line at a store.  Everyone knows some common simple thing that annoys them, the thing, you always find yourself looking around at other people not annoyed, and you not only wonder how it does not annoy them, it annoys you that it does not annoy them!  You just want confirmation.  Somebody high five me please!  Someone to tell you why it is this “thing” that is bothering you so much is indeed something to be bothered by, and that you have every right to wait angrily for everyone else to catch up with this ungodly mess and be angry with you.  Sounds kind of dumb when you hear it like that, doesn’t it?  Is this really what we want, simply to be right or do we simply want the right to be angry? 

First, I believe it is important to say, your anger is not part of the solution to what you are viewing as wrong, and, being angry never got anyone out of a situation they did not want to be in. 

We become angry when we feel paralyzed and unable to move forward.  When this happens in traffic or in a line waiting for something, it is always a sign and signal of a deeper frustration within us symbolized by the inability to tolerate the small frustrations and non threatening situations in daily life that are part of being in the world, tolerating others and waiting our turn.   Once we understand that forgiving someone has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with us, we begin to see the parts of the equation that equal forgiveness. Once we realize there is no one to blame, we then begin the descent to the very bottom of the problem with forgiveness, and it lies at very bottom of us.

“We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.”       

 ~Talmud

If we could only begin to grasp that statement, for it is a powerful one.  No matter how bad we feel no one else but us feels it.  Holding onto that pain does nothing to correct the reason we are in pain nor does it punish the person or situation responsible for it.  Forgiveness is orbiting around all of us, but to forgive is deep inside of us at our core. Forgive means action, it is a verb and the first big step on the path to forgiving someone is to begin to take apart your anger. Just like anything else that is not working, you must begin to dissect and diagnose what the trouble is.  Unplug your anger from the person or event that is causing your pain at this moment, and follow it.  Like math, you will need a piece of paper or a kind and trusted friend to help you begin to back track and find the source of your pain and anger.  You will be surprised at how quickly you find another layer of pain when you disconnect from what it is that angers you.   Once you begin to take apart your anger, you will quickly notice gaining some control over your emotions, and, begin realizing that you have everything you need right here right now to truly forgive and let go of the person you are angry with. This does not mean you have succeeded!  You will only know if you have successfully forgiven someone when that thing that makes you crazy about them or the thing you perceived they did wrong no longer causes you to be angry with them. When you begin to truly work on the fine art of forgiveness as a personal project that you own the rights to, you and not your anger begin to reign supreme and enter through the gateway to what it is you really want and what it is you are truly here to do. To actually forgive another really  means to get out of your own way because it never really was between you and any other person, it was always between you and God.  

   www.CynthiaKJohnson.com                                                                                  ~Cynthia

Your vision becomes clear only when you look into your heart.

Who looks outside, dreams.

 Who looks inside awakens.

~Carl Jung

I don’t believe there can be a much dreamier time then summer, the days are melting more and more into the evening hours as we approach June 21^st which marks the summer solstice or midsummer and the longest day of the year.  As the days grow longer we attempt to keep a schedule for bedtime and yet we are so energized and strengthened by the sun we find ourselves falling asleep later and even when we do fall asleep it is often a restless one. Have you been finding yourself tossing and turning lately with all of your thoughts and body sensations being so exaggerated?  A little itch becomes mental torture – a distant dog barking seems endless.  Perhaps it is the ego holding onto the outside world and in a final act of desperation ups the ante exaggerating everything related to our bodies and of the physical world. Or maybe it is just the child within us not wanting to let go. And as we lay there half asleep somewhere tucked in our slumber, there we are, still going over the day in our head or the next day to come and like a busy quilt our waking thoughts get sewn into our dreams some patches we like, some we don’t, still, they come together in an interesting and oddly beautiful way all the same.

I think all of the seasons stir nostalgia within us but summer seems more personal and carefree, and evokes something different for each of us.  In the  fall and winter, there are many gatherings happening both through work and within our families, some wonderful, still others bringing a feeling that feels forced or contrived in an effort to hold up tradition, but summer seems to spread out in front of us in a myriad of choices.  Like children running on to a playground or into an amusement park, we greet it lovingly, each time our heads filled with ideas of the different things we will plant, the bounty of fresh vegetables and fruit that awaits us, new places we plan to visit and the old ones we long to return to.

When summer comes it is as if someone opened a door and our life becomes more spacious and free, even the main holiday we acknowledge is in celebration of freedom. For myself, my memories of summer are of diving into our backyard pool and upon plunging into the water feeling that quick shift of the outside world instantly disappearing into a magical one.  I remember watching my hair flowing about around my face and also my sisters and being so struck, by how our hair looked dry under the water and only looked wet when we popped up back out of it.  I loved the freedom of leaving one way of being and in a split second I could dive right  into a completely different and magical world and one that was completely my own.  Freedom rings all around us in the summer months, not only for children, but we all seem to be granted a bonus even after a long day of work with the abundance of sun that lights up this time of year. We can spend more time out in our yards and in nature with the sun still beaming a bright twilight that seems to last even after we crawl into bed.  

The longer days also grant us permission to be a little lazy – be sure to allow yourself some time to daydream. Venture out into summer and its warmth, and as you are looking out at the ocean, the mountains, the vineyards, or just your own backyard take in the beauty and warmth of this season, close your eyes and journey into your heart, feel that same warmth and beauty as the center of our existence.  Follow the sun this summer and ponder all that is and even if you don’t travel anywhere, you may just meet up with yourself.

~Cynthia

www.CynthiaKJohnson.com

“On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know…That everything is falling together perfectly, even though it looks as if some things are falling apart. Trust in the process you are now experiencing. Life is on your side. It is showing that to you now, though you may not be able to see it clearly at this time. You have made your wishes and dreams known to God.  Now comes the time for faith. Faith, that all is right, right now.  Tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should.”                                ~Neale Donald Walsch

How many times in your life have you screamed out to the universe for help and felt as if you were left standing in the middle of a great void instead?  Hearing your own echoes of despair, wondering where has everyone gone and in those times it seems as though even God has left the scene.

We live in a world of speed.  We have instant messaging, instant food, our cars are faster, the internet and computers continue to gain speed, childhood has shortened, and time seems to be passing us by.  Maybe that is why when something stops in our life even if it was something we were not sure we even wanted, be it a relationship or situation, something, that has become intolerable, as it exits your life, the silence can be deafening. 

Over the last few years, I have been approaching life differently. I can easily say the movie The Secret was truly a defining moment in my life, I have been amazed at how quickly things progress when you start applying The Law of Attraction by paying attention to your thoughts and allowing those thoughts to become manifest.  I will share my secret about the secret – the most important and misunderstood part of the process is when things stop.  When things become de activated, it is often an abrupt change you were not planning for that can be quite startling. You may have been grumbling every day on your way to a job you hate asking again for some intervention from God and then one day, it happens.  The situation ceases to be. You hear the door shut or maybe you slammed it shut, and then – there you are, right smack in the middle in the silence of the void.  Funny thing is, in meditation, this is something we seek and often struggle to achieve, to become still and quiet and yet when that void occurs in the material world – we are quite uncomfortable with it, and especially in such a fast paced world, where speed is so revered, silence, pausing, any lack of doing business as –  is like being stopped at the top of a Ferris wheel, nauseous with feet dangling, rocking back and forth and even though we know we will begin moving again, but get nervous that we won’t, and within that worry we do not enjoy the beauty of the view while waiting to move on. 

If you knew you needed to replace your floors what would you do? You would begin the tedious job of ripping up the old flooring and preparing for the new one to be laid.  There is a period of disarray with no floor so you may have the new one that you need or desire to have.

Why do we think we can separate our physical lives from our spiritual lives?

Our thoughts and desires are the template for our physical life.  When we pray and dream of things being better we begin to change our physical existence, no way around it.  Those of us who take our spiritual ness to that level must take responsibility for this.  What you think about you do bring about.  If we want to be better, then we better be ready for things to change.

 We must begin to accept and realize manifestation is not like an order we place with Santa Claus, and wake up on Christmas morning to a delivery of our requests.  We are in a dense physical existence, and all growth means change, and all growth exacts a cost on other living things.  It is in our attachment to what is – and what we see that causes us to lose sight of what it is appropriate.  Nostalgia can cause us to keep the chaos in our lives that causes the quickness and speed that we are so addicted to.  If your mind will not settle into the void of stillness and no thing ness, then I can promise you there is something you need to let go of in your physical life, remember just like replacing your floor, there must be a period of no floor.  Be sure your words and thoughts match what your heart and soul are yearning for, and when things begin to look as though they are falling apart, remember this is all things considered, and is a direct reflection of your inner desires and soul’s purpose. 

 If you feel you do not have what it is you need, maybe it is because you are holding onto to what you do not. So let go, and enjoy the ride, it may get a little scary and you may feel you have been left hanging in mid air or wonder where everyone went.  Trust in the process and remember if nothing changes, nothing changes.

And so, on this day, now comes the time for faith.  Faith, that all is right, right now. 

~Cynthia 

I was unsure whether it was a planet or a star twinkling just before dawn over the weekend.   The Full Moon on Friday was too big and bright to ignore, as it lit up the night she was also showing her reflection in the humble little pond in my back yard.  The wind whistled with balmy breath all thru the night and I kept finding myself looking up at the beauty and mystery of the sky.  It was as if the star I saw that morning was winking at me and even though the wind sounded so fierce the temperature was so mild it seemed benign.  I cracked my window that night just so I could feel the fresh and mild air as I lightly slept. 

 The energies around seem playful, the recent warm temperatures remind us how quickly things can change for the better, and I feel as if the sky itself is speaking to us all, letting us know the difficulties we have all been going thru are really a labor of love and if we trust in the process we will birth a new beginning just like the sky does every morning. 

 Something that all too often is lacking in our lives is mystery.  We seem to want proof for just about everything, we want things named, explained, studied, argued and ultimately ignored.  There is something in us that wants to believe something different then we have been told.  Did you ever notice the more things are studied, they end up seeming muddy?  Is there really one answer for anything?

 Try and remember there is always another option …we can look to the sky for she is bigger than you and I.  The mystery of the universe is larger than our frets and worries.  The next time you find you are feeling down or worried about something in your life look up at the sky.  Then look at it fifteen minutes later, or fifteen hours later, how different does it look?

 The clouds don’t stay in the same place, sometimes you can see the moon during the day, or in an instant you can see a falling star, or, you may wake up and see one winking at you.   The sky is in a constant state of change, and you know what? So are we.

We are amphibians – half spirit half animal.  We must remember to stay connected to spirit anyway we can, for that is the only constant non changing thing we have.   It is infinite and remains pure unfiltered energy and love.  It is that for which we each are seeking to find in each other and never fully accepting that it is already contained within each and every one of us. The animal human part of us inhabits the earth and also time that of which we cannot completely deny as humans for to completely deny time would be to also deny the morning and the evening, for each flows into the other in a rhythm that measures our days and our lives.

 We don’t have to know everything we just need to know everything is exactly the way it needs to be.  The reasons will not be known until we can get far enough away from the earth to actually see it in all of its glory and beauty.  And just as we look up at the sky and see the stars flickering and revel in the luster of the moon, perchance we will someday look down at the earth and see all the beautiful lights including all the blunders and misdirected energies and they will appear as beautiful as falling stars do from earth and we will remember life was good.

                                    That in their own right earth and sky

                                    Continually do dance

                                    For their own sakes—and here crept I

                                   To watch the world by chance.      ~C.S. Lewis

~Cynthia

CynthiaKJohnson.com

 I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.

I am your next chance at the art of living.

I am your opportunity to practice what you have learned during the

last twelve months about life.

All that you sought the past year and failed to find is hidden in me;

I am waiting for you to search it out again and with more determination.

All the good that you tried to do for others and didn’t achieve last year is

mine to grant – providing you have fewer selfish and conflicting desires.

In me lies the potential of all that you dreamed but didn’t dare to do, all that

you hoped but did not perform.

All you prayed for but did not yet experience – these dreams slumber

lightly, waiting to be awakened by the touch of an enduring purpose.

I am the New Year.

-Anonymous-

September 22nd is fast approaching and will mark the first full day of autumn and the official end of summer. I must say this has been one of the longest summers I can remember in a while. I have been taking my own little survey and asking people if they thought the summer was long, or if it had gone by fast – no one I asked thought it had gone by quickly. When I asked my daughter she reminded me we were swimming in Gunpowder Falls on her birthday and that was April 6th and it stayed hot so we had almost four and a half months of hot weather.

The weather has finally cooled down and whether or not your have children, the early morning sounds of crickets and school buses trigger our senses and memories signaling the end of summer and the beginning of Fall. I remember walking to school the air cool and crisp and then on the way home in the afternoon feeling overdressed, overheated and a little misplaced. As adults we put on heavy sweatshirts and sweaters with our cold toes still in flip flops, unable to give everything up all at once, defiantly wringing out the last bit of summer we think we are losing, even though most of us were begging for the heat to go away only a few weeks ago. I think we all still feel that awkward shift from one season to another, in some ways a relief and in other ways a grief. That feeling that you are losing what you have but also a pleasure in knowing you are receiving something new in return, quenching our need for growth, expansion and also change.

I think when seasons change, it reminds us of how life changes whether we are ready or not. Like chapters in a book, still the same story but a shift in the focus. As any writer or artist knows, knowing when to stop is key, over writing causes the reader to lose interest and over painting a picture will cause you to lose a detail you can’t seem to recapture. Our experiences are the art of our emotions, they can be a masterpiece or an abstract oddity that only a few appreciate and recognize.

Mornings feel different this time of the year you can walk outside in the morning and find yourself walking right through a spider web – they can come out of nowhere, seeming to be attached to nothing. So often we get caught in a nostalgic web that is spun from wispy impressions not really attached to anything else, especially other people, and we as the spider capture our own un-manifest potential we did not make room for or allow to fly freely from us, caught mid flight and we feed on our own fear.

The fall equinox is a time when all things are evening out and attempting to come into balance – almost equal parts of day and night depending on where you are in the world, and our internal clocks are following suit, the cool fresh air beckoning us to clear out and freshen up our homes and to let go of things we don’t need any longer giving them a new home and a chance to make someone else happy, simultaneously opening up room for something new to enter in – maybe, one of those dreams stuck in a web of confusion caught in a waiting game of either birth or death – a part of us that we have wrapped up, cocooning it until we become so hungry for what is real and true, that nothing else will do and we begin to feed on the truth that is wrapped up deep within us, and nothing else will satisfy the hunger that comes when we are starving for ourselves.

Traditionally fall has been a time of harvest, and even though most of us do not plant crops, we can share what it is we have gathered in our life, most of us have more then we need or want, drop it off to Goodwill or a shelter, the spirit of fall is very real and so is our need to share, a time for things to come into balance and as you give things away, clear your space and your mind, maybe you will begin to see there is more room for yourself.

~Cynthia