Imagine going to work and putting in a grueling twelve hours only to realize you never punched in on the time clock. All that wasted effort and work, and no compensation. Do you ever finish a day and feel like that anyway?
Like you were in the wrong building at the wrong meeting, in the wrong clothes?
How many times in our lives do we try and get validation from outside sources, one of the clumsiest levels of confirmation possible. It is as if we are standing at the time clock, looking around for someone to validate that we did indeed work those twelve hours, searching for anyone who may have witnessed it.
Often I look words up in the dictionary, not because I don’t know their meaning, but because I like to remind myself exactly what they do mean. I think we send very strong statements without realizing the power within the words we use. After all, if the universe is based on the Law of Attraction, shouldn’t we be more careful of the statements we make?
Valid is defined as, being sound and true; binding under law.
Valedictorian is the most valued student who gives a speech at graduation.
Validate is a declaration of the truth.
Valet means to become a servant to another human, doing his tasks and being paid or sometimes tipped, not even worthy of a set fee.
Valor means courage and bravery.
Value; the worth of a thing in money or other goods; to think highly of, as in “I value our friendship.” We seldom value ourselves without the validation that comes from another. The truth often stands alone, which often times means, so must we.
Our experiences come from our own limited views. Trying to get validation from another for our trials and sometimes our errors, that often we do not even have the capacity from our limited perspective, to even comprehend the possibility that we could have made a mistake, is truly a waste of our time and energy. Even a hardened criminal has his or her reasons, usually beyond our comprehension and understanding. We must remember we are not responsible for what others see, they only see what they have acknowledged exists.
Why do we spend so much time trying to get validation, our time ticket punched?? Why are we even punching into someone else’s clock, and not just operating on our own internal clock that always has exact and precise timing for each and every one of us.
Many people are “evaluated” usually yearly by their employer, and while I am sure it has its benefits, more often than not it leaves us feeling misunderstood and graded instead of valued and appreciated. Would it not be easier to address the problems as they happen rather then let them build for a year forming bad habits? Our personal relations can be viewed in the same way. How often have we swallowed our truth within a relationship only to have it bubble up from our gut and like a spicy meal that will not be tolerated, it comes back up as a bitter belching of the truth, and if swallowed again over time, can produce an ulcer.
How much easier would our lives become, if we began, just took a step towards validating ourselves becoming our own valedictorian and graduated to the next level of self-expression and happiness. The next time you are standing around feeling misunderstood searching the empty halls of your mind for confirmation of your value, stop. Close your eyes, and breathe. Breathe in life. Connect back up with the divine GPS system you were born with, and try and realize that in your moment of despair, somehow somewhere you got lost. Just like any long trip, there is one destination, but many ways to get there. Sometimes when we take the road less traveled, it can be beautiful or it may even be a rougher terrain. Any choice we make to take a different road nets a different result. Not necessarily better or worse but different. When we are lost we always find our way, even if we have to turn around.
Honor yourself and value what that is. Don’t be a valet, serving someone else’s idea of you, and don’t expect them to know who you are. Show valor when the wars begin to erupt in your life, and you will slowly begin to realize – the only war that ever really was or is – is the one going on with your self.
~Cynthia
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